you need to go on the plarium play app, click on your name bottom left, then  click on copy profile link and send that link to your friend, they can then add you as a friend on the app which carries over into the game 

Thanks  i  will try that 

This  doesnt  seem  to  work,  we  cannot  see  each  others  cities  still  or  i  cannot  find  his  coalition  when  running  a  search.    We  are  able  to  chat in  the  function  outside  the  game  and  see  each  others  plarium  profiles  howeve.    He  has  been  playing  for  several  years  now  and  startex  on  Facebook  if  that  somehow  makes  a  difference 

Please provide me with the following details:

- platform on which both of you play;

- server name;

- your player ID and your friend's one.

Thanks in advance.

My  user  id is  79661192  and  my  friend  is  73562440.  We  both  seen  to  be  on  server  2  the  Thracian frontier  and  he  gave  me  his  coordinates as  -1319  and  -214.    I  cannot  see  anything at  this  location  and  he  cannot  see  my  city.  Thanks  for  your help

As I see, Archon, you play on different servers. That's why you cannot see each other's city.

What  server  is  73562440  on?

Second  question :  is  there  anyway to  transfer  my  city  to  his  server?

sadly there is no way to move an existing city from one server to another 

You can start a new city on your friend´s server, or him on yours. You can play two servers, no problem with that. :)