You have posted the first part of your question in another place, and also a related issue  in a topic which has been  effectively closed in its location, as its been moved elsewhere.

The best place for chit chat, and looking for players, is most likely to be the tavern section.

 If you need more understanding about the game,and the stronghold in particular, try the in game information,the game tutorials, or look for information on the internet, keeping in mind that non official sources might be incorrect or out of date. 

The requirements for  starting a stronghold are clan influence, resources, and scrolls.This is just the beginning of your  quest.

I think it most unlikely that anyone would regret building it,  as it gives you the potential for major improvements. 

If you don't want to build one yourself,join a clan.

Some players are regretting where they built the stronghold , but that's  related to  a separate issue.