The original author's spelling is retained.
The clouds obscured their vision. The ashes from the burning catapults created a suffocating atmosphere. The smell of blood that spread over the battlefield terrorized the troops now surrounded by the enemy.
In the distance, a multitude of einarm positioned on the hills. It could be seen relentlessly and indiscriminately pounding the melee now stretched across the plain. Only the crows waiting their turn seemed to overshadow these monstrous machines of war.
Jarl Lars and his troop, composed mainly of berserkers and haugbui forming his personal guard, seemed to be weakening despite the colossal losses in the enemy ranks. Mountains of corpses delayed the progress of the enemy but made it impossible for the troop to reform. As fatigue worsened the situation, a stalker came to report to the Jarl.
"We've been betrayed, those predatresses bitches never showed up and are still holed up in their hut praying to Odin to spare them!"
In the middle of the chaos, despite the clash of weapons and arrows, a silence settled. The faces of women and men seemed to reflect the one and only reality: this battle was lost. Lars, seeking all possible solutions, asked the spy:
"We have been under enemy fire for three hours, where are the shadows sent to sabotage the enemy war machines?"
The spy froze and began to stammer. It was difficult for him to admit that his fellow comrades had failed miserably in their mission, dishonoring their clan. For his honor, he had to bring out the sad truth...
"Our troops were ambushed while setting up camp last night, they were slaughtered by... mercenaries."
Lars boiled with rage, it is an honor to die on the battlefield, but there is nothing more humiliating than failure in the face of weakness. All he had left was his courage and his unbending will to die in a glorious battle. He turned around, looking for a sign from the Gods within the battlefield. The first and second lines were collapsing, archers in the center were out of ammunition and facing certain death. There were now more injured soldiers than unharmed ones.
A bright light from the eastern front warmed his heart in search of a divine message, but the hardest part was yet to come; the opponent's cavalry in shining armor led by Elsa herself was charging straight to the position of the Jarl and his warriors. The Jarl seized his axes and, eager to prove his worth to the gods, charged in the last stand.
"Vikings, tonight we feast in Valhalla with Odin!”
An absolute void... devoid of memory and emotion... An intermission between life and death. Time seemed to stop and no longer worked as we know it. Both far and near, a divine voice could be heard:
"... no but this is ridiculous... battlefi... he... die against damn ponies... when did he had a damage bonus...? I ... bet on this world... miserable, for the pain ... Valhalla will be f.. for later.. take that !"
In this confused chaos, Lars woke up suddenly and as a reflex reached for his belt to draw his axe out. However, he only found a thin belt that was totally useless to carry the heavy weapons he loved so much. Raising his head in panic, he saw an atypical individual, clean-shaven, almost beardless, wearing a ridiculous outfit similar to a penguin. When they looked at each other, the stranger told him :
"So Lars, too many noob requests to process last night ha? You still have the keys of the keyboard printed on your cheek! Well, don't forget: tomorrow we're releasing the new event that will probably not please everyone, they are going to be mad about it on social media!”
The person left laughing and walked towards the closed metal doors which made a loud noise when he pressed the button next to it
The Jarl didn't understand where he was, nor what he was doing there, and even less what was going on around him. The only thing that was certain and that captivated his gaze was the sort of brightly lit animated painting in front of him where he could see the battle... that he had just lost.
Here is the beginning of Jarl Lars in our era and in his position as Community manager ;)