NEW GLOBAL MISSION!

Commanders!

Get ready to saddle up boys and girls, we’ve got a new mission coming in!

As you all know, medical science only has one proven cure for any unfortunate bastard who gets himself stung with Mutant venom – a pistol, one bullet, and a little privacy. Given the alternative (nasty skin rash, hunger for flesh, tentacles, oily t-zones, etc.) it’s not a bad way to go – but our R&D boys think we may be able to do something about that and synthesize an antidote.

Obviously this means some of us will have to take on the incredibly dangerous mission of killing fresh mutant specimens and de-clawing them to collect as many fresh venom sacs as possible. Be advised that this will most likely result in massive casualties, because of course it will – but it ain’t like you grunts were getting any prettier anyway.

As always, participation is voluntary, and seeing as how this is a near-certain suicide mission, all volunteer commanders (and/or their next of kin) will be eligible for an additional bonus if the mission is successful.

So, grab something sharp and move out – we’ve got work to do!

Dismissed!

Gen. Trevor “Tornado” Winters

STRATCOMM

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