You’ve got alarm bells ringing at all hours of the day and night and none of them are for real-life events like waking up for work, picking up grandma from bingo, or taking your insulin shots. These alarms are only for your game account.
You claim that your ID and credit cards have been stolen as a way to explain all the charges you’ve racked up on your social gaming activities. Sometimes you use the excuse of having a serious gambling problem, pressure from the mob, or an addiction to porn websites.
You have a built-in time clock that allows you to calculate time differences between your region and pretty much 35 other foreign time zones.
The gods of gaming have heard your vows to cease all gaming activity; that you will delete your gaming account and that you’re saving up for a brand new console at least 10 times this month alone!
The equipment you use for your game sessions include multiple Excel spreadsheets, a legal pad, a pen and pencil, a calculator, a webcam, a smartphone and a high-quality headset, maybe even a projector. You’re pretty much hooked!
During your gaming sessions you’re able to prove – incontrovertibly – that the sun rises twice.
The game developers of your preferred games regularly consult with you about how their game mechanics function. They’re on a first-name basis with you.
Your co-workers at Taco Bell are perplexed by messages appearing on your Facebook page addressing you as sir and the one described in the prophecy. They’re also blissfully unaware that you’re the commander of a powerful army numbering thousands of soldiers.
Such is your stature in the gaming world that other players copy your account name and use your avatar to instil unimaginable fear in the hearts of the enemy.
When it’s your birthday you get bombarded with warm wishes from hundreds of people you’ve never met before. They know pretty much everything there is to know about you, including the names of your pets, your offspring, your physical condition and beyond. Stay offline for more than 2 days and Interpol will have an all-points bulletin (APB) out for you.